


Ruffled Feathers

by wanderingquill



Category: Outlast (Video Games)
Genre: Dom/sub, M/M, bottom!Eddie Gluskin, dub con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-06-06 01:10:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15183440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingquill/pseuds/wanderingquill
Summary: The high lord and wizard Eddie Gluskin, while tired of his lack of options when it came to wives had the wicked idea of making his own swan bride. If only he thought his plan and it’s little details out as thoroughly as he did with his spell work for binding his new swan bride. Gluskin is about to learn the consequences of not double checking or bothering to examine the finer details of his "lady swan" before he set his magic in motion and bound them together in matrimony.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This wild crack au was inspired by this old post on my blog. http://wanderingquill.tumblr.com/post/175580408992/spobforpresident-amolecularmachine
> 
> The idea just hit me like a tsunami and would not relent until I finished the one shot. Please comment if you even remotely liked it. You can put gifs in the comments now and even a small keysmash sentence would mean so much to me. I'm a fanfiction writer, I need feedback to keep going.

              Lord Gluskin stomped through his foyer as he tore off his summer cloak. The wards he had ingrained in his home acted as his manservant, cleaning and hanging the cloak and such back into its proper place nearby. The wizard grumbled and muttered profanities of “incompetent slut” and “They're all too stupid to see their own noses!” as he stormed his way into his library to calm down. Puttering with his tomes always put him in a better mood. But not even his copy of the Necronomicon or lost sea scrolls seemed viable options even now. The sorcerer's blood boiled with contempt as he remembered the pitiful excuse his kinsman offered up as a suitable “bridal candidate” for his title and bloodline. The low born girl was as unlearned as she was rude, and not nearly pretty enough to make up the difference. He thought it was some comical joke at his expense as he kept waiting around for the real candidate to arrive. He wasted time and charms for an unruly cow.

This was the final straw in his eyes, he had to find another way to continue his legacy. He could not stomach another foul-mouthed wrench in a parade of mediocrity. But HOW? As he questioned himself of how he could change his abysmal future of failed marital plans, he punched the side of his many many oak bookshelves. The force pushed out a loose book onto the floor, snapping him off his raging train of questioning.

He huffed as he bent down to retrieve the book. It was a childish gift from his childhood, a story of Volund the blacksmith. A dreadful old world epic tale of a cruel man witty enough to force swan maiden to marry him, and his quest for vengeance against a mighty king that trapped him for his skills by destroying his legs and locking him away. It was no wonder why a vicious man like Lord Eddie held the story close to his heart.

          As he brushed off the dust that gathered over the cover. He stood to admire the simple gold leaf impress on the binding. His eyes entranced by the fading gold lining the simplistic images. Smiling as he traced along the strong lines of a smith’s hammer, then the elegant slope of the swan's body and finally stopping at the sharp edge of the traditional royal crown. It was then a brilliant and awful idea had been born.  

“ If the magical elite were not deemed fit to show him a bride to build a legacy with, someone to share the knowledge of the library or carnal fun of the bedroom with, he’d have to make one. Use his skills to make a beautiful swan into an equally beautiful maiden. Just like the fae folk of old when they grew bored and weary of the peers and human lovers. He’d craft the blank canvas of elegance and beauty to teach and mold into the perfect mate and peer!” The fury that burned before was nothing compared to the burning excitement that flared behind Gluskin’s cold eyes as he raced to his workshop with his spellcraft books.

“He’d call her Vola? No, too much like Volutus. While the goddess of pleasure is appealing, he wanted an equal not just a warm body to heat his bed. No. He’d name her after the Anglicized version of Volund’s name, Wayland. He’d name his beautiful swan bride Wayla. A simply perfect name for a woman who will be simply perfect for him. She will be what a woman should be like! All grace and slenderness, pale and demure. Quiet but somehow even more beautiful when she speaks with an enchanting voice.”

Eddie all but carved the wording of his incantation into the empty magical tome with his quill pen as he continued to imagine his bride. Devising the perfect spell to transform, ensnare and bind his perfect mate to him forever.

Because for all of Gluskin’s idealization of the cruel wicked smith, he had lost his own happy ending outside of revenge. Volund might have been smart enough to steal a fae swan maiden’s feather cloak, but he was still too stupid to not destroy the damn thing and that’s how he lost his perfect wife. Eddie was not going to repeat Volund’s mistake. He was going to make sure that once his swan bride was his, she’ll be his forever.

         Eddie wasn’t going to take any chances, his spell wouldn’t allow his bride the chance to turn back into a swan until after they consummated the marriage with lovemaking. And even then he put in a powerful magical loophole to prevent her from abandoning him after they are legally married. And since he is lord and protector of his realm, he could legally marry them. So he ingrained that into the spell itself to dot all i's and cross all the Ts. To ensure no mishaps will happen once he summoned his wonderful bride.

The sun had fallen and rose high in the sky again before Gluskin had finished his perfect snare for his perfect woman.

He used his magic to have his enchantments set up the immediate spell circles and clean the workshop of his things for the ritual before preparing himself for bed. Dreams of wild blond hair and fierce brown eyes haunted his dreams as he slept in his canopy bed.

          Being a wizard with a vast income of magical energy over the years had allowed him to power hundreds of spells to maintain and provide for his home, making the traditional man-servants pointless. So there was no one around to stop the madman in his works. Or to make him double check minor details, such as which particular swan he had shocked into submission in the wild and summoned into the transfiguration circle the night before. Or to ask him how he knows he wanted a SWAN to be transformed into a woman, or how he knew the one he caught was actually a female swan. All of these questions if asked before would have saved him the horror of what found when the smoke in his lab finally cleared.

He was giddy with excitement as the summoning smoke swirled and transfigured the swan’s beautiful contours into that of a person. A manic glee lit Gluskin’s eyes as he watched the beast forcefully transformed in a blur. The figure struggled and howled as the smoke whirled faster and darker around it.

“Beauty is pain my darling Wayla! You must endure it for our legacy my darling Wayla! It will be worth it in the end!”

Eddie was too caught up in his mind’s eye imagining the possible face of his bride to focus on the deep rich voice that screamed in his workshop.

Gluskin quickly approached the circle across the large room as the smoke started to evaporate. The crouching figure, pale and blond as they rose upright. Not too tall, but as Gluskin looked closer, somehow more naked then he’d imagined. His spell should have transformed her beautiful feathers into a full wedding dress. Something was wrong!

Getting closer, he saw the feathery cloth drape to her nimble ankles. But left her wide chest uncovered and only concealed by her sturdy arms?

As he stood outside the circle, he looked down and found the piercing forest brown eyes that burned like a wildfire aimed at him. While the edges of his swan were cherub and soft, there were straight harsh lines of muscle where there should be only feminine curves. Finally, the smoke completely cleared, and his mistake was literally staring him in the face. A man, a slim but very muscular man wearing a feathered cloak as a kilt stood before him. Arms crossed foot tapping and a cruel smile aimed at him.

“Hello, I’m assuming you’re my new husband? That’s why you kidnapped me from my home, tormented me and changed me into this form right? You were lonely and wanted to get fucked properly. You asked for it, I’m going to finish this.” The swan Groom took a step forward out the circle as Eddie doubled backward. Waylon leaned up on his toes trying to kiss Eddie as he asked.

“Come on, you’re my Pen now. Gimme a kiss~”

“Go to hell you demon bird!” Eddie screamed as he ran towards his work table and started to throw his alchemy equipment at the magic circle. Waylon dodged them effortlessly as Eddie continued to panic and throw things. He used almost all of his immediate energy in preparation and during the actual summoning. He had nothing to defend himself from the intruder and he barely had the strength to throw things might as well wrestle his rested intruder.

“Not today, and my name’s Way _lon_.”

“I don’t care, get out of my house!”

“Seeing how you bound me to you, it’s my house too now.”

“You are no bride of mine!”

“But you are now my Pen, whether you want to or not. I’m not leaving until we mate until I’m satisfied or until this damned spell breaks.”

“Fuck off!” Eddie cast a flash spell to blind Waylon’s fast approach. He then bolted up the dungeon stairs to escape. Waylon was almost on his heels as he tried to close the door. Managing to shove the door closed, Eddie took a breath of relief. But his heart stopped as the door hinge metal creaked and the door shook. Waylon ripped it off the hinges and threw it away from Eddie.

“Now that wasn’t very nice!” The swan groom said with an evil glee.

Eddie ran and dashed through his home like a caged rat. His own protection wards keeping him from aid and the beast behind him not giving him time for advanced spells while evading him. “Waylon” screamed as he chased Eddie down the long luxurious corridors of their isolated chateau.

“You can’t run forever witchy boy. And I’m a patient fucker.”

***Hours later****

“Nice and soft now. Fuck you’re so warm!” The Swan “bride” purred as he slid another slender finger into Eddie’s ass. The sting of the stretched lessened by the cooling "aphrodisiac" lube gel Eddie prepared for his bride for their honeymoon. Eddie never thought he’d be the one it was being applied to.

Eddie snarled and wanted to scream but his throat burned from doing so for so long. He was trapped like an animal caught in his own trap. Eddie’s arms and legs were forced far from his sides by his own chains. A precaution for if his wild bride grew violent while he tried to consummate their marriage. His feet tied against the headboard and his arms stretched far to the corners of the bed.

Most of his magic he used carelessly trying to scare off the swan groom or stall for time to find a loophole to undo the spell. Eddie burned most of his reserved energy from sprinting and dodging. His lack of sleep didn’t exactly help him either. But mostly it was the ungodly sprinting pace and heavy things he threw trying to put some distance between them. Little good did that do, the smaller man was fast and nimble and outlasted and outwittedhim in every way. And despite the man’s much smaller stature, his limbs were like smooth granite pinning him down on his own bed at the moment. Trying to fight the slim young man felt like punching a brick wall. And honestly, Waylon hardened bones and lean muscles were as heavy as a sack of bricks. Now he was utterly defenseless against the onslaught of the Swan groom.

           Eddie’s lips and neck were bloody from trying to fight off Waylon’s affections with his own teeth. But if anything the fighting made the swan groom harder on top of him. Eddie’s own arousal was hardening from the adrenaline and the confused sensations of Waylon’s body pinning him down into the goose feather bed. Waylon had ripped every stitch of clothing off Eddie, leaving him open and vulnerable to his own desires. The nudity combined with the sensitivity caused by the from the "aphrodisiac" lube gel Eddie brought for tonight was a highly effective combination to inflame his arousal. Waylon’s weight and forceful touches sent his flesh aflame even as his blood cooled from his growing fear. His body unconsciously leaned into Wayon's soft caress. Waylon's hairless skin and the soft feathers draping over his legs felt divine against him, but he recoiled from it too as he felt Waylon’s corded muscles under the softness and the hot manhood concealed by the feathered skirt pressed against his bare legs.  

Eddie twisted and thrust his hips to get Waylon’s fingers away from his loosening hole, but that only made Waylon hook his fingers inside and pull on Eddie’s nipples until he stopped trying to buck him off. Eddie whined at that pain before stealing his hips again.

“Are you going to be good for me my defiant pretty Pen?”

Eddie responded with an indignant gruff before he barked back.

“Go fuck yourself you beast.”

“I’d rather continue fucking you my dear Pen.”

Waylon cooed before taking out a little more arousal gel and stroking Eddie’s cock with it. Eddie moaned loudly as the steel tight grip slid up and down his length effortlessly with the unnatural blue gel.

Eddie snarled and bit his lip seeing a smirk curl around Waylon’s pretty pink lips.

“Don’t stop on my behalf My pet Pen.”

Eddie glared at Waylon as he removed his fingers from his still tightened hole.

“Now don’t be like that. You knew you were asking for trouble trying to make a wild beast into a bride.”

“Yes, I wanted a fucking BRIDE, a woman!”

“Well, now you’re my woman for the trouble.” Waylon bit down on Eddie’s nipple to emphasize the claim. Eddie jolted at the pleasure and pain from Waylon’s teeth.

“FFFUUUCCCKKK”

Eddie thought the "aphrodisiac" effects were finally taking hold of him. His skin started to burn and every touch then induced a faint pleasure tremor that ran its way up his spine.

“Keep singing  for me my Pen, it’s only going to get better!”

Waylon took out his fingers, most of the gel had dissolved inside Eddie. Waylon grabbed a thick pillow and stuffed it under Eddie’s hips. The magic allowing Waylon to twist and extend the chains around the trapped person as he pleased. Eddie moaned and whined at the loss of Waylon’s hand at his prick, as he used it to spread Eddie’s hole wider to insert the ointment tube end inside. Waylon emptied a third of the freezing tube into Eddie’s insides as Eddie squirmed and tried to shimmy away.

“Now now my Pen, don’t make a fuss. “ Waylon teased his fingers back inside the gel filled hole. Twisting and turning his fingers deeper and wider inside with the aid of the gel.   Eddie’s head became foggier and foggier as Waylon kept teasing him to relax more. His fiery will to fight started to fade away to embers as the cool gel was warmed by Waylon’s nimble hands on and inside his body. Easily slipping in another finger without Eddie even noticing as his eyes glazed over while Waylon nibbled his neck.

Eddie only noticed the sudden increase when Waylon’s finger thrusts became harder and deeper.  

“Come on witchy boy, just one more and I’ll make you a real Pen.”

Eddie tensed as Waylon eased a fourth finger into his hole.

“Easy, easy there boy. That's good, almost there, almost there. Yessssss."

Eddie forced himself stilled as a statue as his body wrapped around the iron like fingers inside. After reaching in knuckle deep with all four fingers, Waylon waited until Eddie’s legs stopped trembling underneath him to move his hand. His other hand stroked Eddie’s manhood slowly as Eddie eventually relaxed. Waylon started off slowly.

“Easy, easy, That’s my Pen boy. So good.” Waylon kept a gentle pace for a long time, just easing in and rubbing the edge of Eddie’s prostate. Making him boil with arousal but not letting him find release. Eddie was going to need to be as loose as possible. Because after all that running and fighting, once Waylon’s cock was inside him he wasn’t going to let off until he passed out from exhaustion. Eddie whimpered as Waylon started to teased his prostate mercilessly. It was close to what his body needed but not enough.

Waylon himself started to drool as Eddie’s desperation finally took the reigns over his body. The wizard going so far as to whine at the gentle thrusts and pushing back and forth between both of Waylon’s hands.

“You’re amazing, fucking yourself on my hand. Do you want more my Pen?”

Eddie’s voiced a deep throated whine as Waylon stopped his hands to ask the question.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Waylon smiled and smiled as he took his hands out of Eddie.

Eddie’s mind was a blur of want and warmth. He felt like screaming when Waylon took away his wonderful wonderful hands. O fuck, he’s never felt so open and cold down there after Waylon pulled out. His ass dripped the unnatural blue concoction as it tried to pull in nothing. Waylon stared at his almost gaping hole as he started to unbutton the side of his feathered kilt.

“Just relax my Pen. You’re going to get our long earned reward in a moment.”

Eddie stiffened his spine as the feather skirt was removed to revealed Waylon’s absurdly large throbbing prick. The pinkish tip matching Waylon’s pink red lips on top of the thickest long shaft Eddie’s seen in person. A dribble of cum dripped down the veiny column as it stood proudly up against Waylon’s soft stomach.

“Breath witch boy. I’m not going to break ya with my club. Not unless you beg me to.” Waylon winked at Eddie as he rubbed his shaft head up and down Eddie’s middle to collect the blue gel that oozed out.

Eddie tried to scramble off the bed but forgot the chains in place. The bindings strained as Eddie tried to fight again. Waylon pushed him down by pressing his hips down using his weight.

“Easy, easy there. I'm just going to put the tip in.”

Eddie nearly bit through his lower lip as Waylon eased the thick column into him. Fuck, it was thicker than the fingers and so much denser. The gel might have helped it glide into him, but fuck, Eddie thought he’d rip in half from it and Waylon didn’t even push halfway in yet.

“Breath Pen. Come on, breath for me Penny.” Eddie didn’t realize how he stopped breathing entirely as Waylon eased himself in. He felt almost light headed as he quickly took in the air again. Waylon eased his way out and in again as Eddie trembled underneath him.

“Easy easy.” Waylon cooed as he used his free hand to stroke alongside Eddie's sides. Calming him down like a startled colt during a rainstorm.

The slow give and take until Eddie stopped quivering took a while. Waylon leaned down closer by putting his weight on his elbows and placing them on Eddie’s sides as he thrust in gently. The contact and warmth of Waylon laid across Eddie’s chest soothed the bound wizard. Waylon was gritting his teeth hard as he forced himself to hold back and not fuck Eddie long and hard. But he waited until Eddie grew more relaxed to push a little farther inside a little every thrust. It was well worth the long tedious wait when Waylon heard Eddie “sing” for him as he finally pushed his entire length into the bulkier man. Waylon stilled as he basked in the velvet heat that tightened and relaxed around his shaft.

“Pen? You okay?”

Eddie was delirious as his lust fueled fever spiked his body temperature. He rambled Waylon’s name as he tried to get closer to the slim man above him.

“Waylon, Waylon, Waylon, Waylon”

Waylon stayed his gentle pace but picked up speed as Eddie tried to thrust his hips toward him. The pillow and the restraints limited Eddie’s movements and forcing him to resort to whimpering for more.

     Waylon kept lifting and shifting their hips until he heard Eddie howl for him. Waylon had found the perfect angle to keep his burning Pen singing underneath. O this would be so much fun for the both of them. Waylon locked into that position as slowed his pace down only to thrust violently into the large man and slowly pull himself out. Waylon’s dick speared his prostate on every movement. The intense contact of his sensitive spot coupled with the long teasing friction of Waylon pulling his manhood almost all the way out before thrusting back in. Eddie was reduced to tears in frustrated desire. He didn’t care for dignity or power or what he originally wanted, he needed Waylon. He needed _every inch_ of Waylon fucking him properly and he needed it NOW.

“Waylon please!”

“Please what my sweet Pen?”

“ah, FuCk Me!”

“I do believe I am.” Waylon teased Eddie’s neglected prick as he maintained his steady pace. The new sensation only drove Eddie further into agony, past frustration and into pleasurable torture.

Eddie could burst into actual tears as his senses overwhelmed him. Pleading for more as he wildly tried to force Waylon’s dick back inside him.

“Please, fuck me! Please!”

Waylon let go of Eddie’s manhood and grabbed a smaller pillow to make Eddie’s hips stay EXACTLY where he arched them. Before shifting his own legs around to get closer by spreading Eddie’s legs even farther apart.

“All you needed was to ask nicely.” Waylon grabbed Eddie’s hips tightly as he steadily picked up momentum and speed as he rammed into Eddie’s hole.

           Eddie thrashed and screamed Waylon’s name as the Swan groom milked his prostate. Almost losing his voice as he screamed louder as Waylon’s ravishment grew more brutal. The wooden bedpost columns the chains were tied around cracked from Eddie’s wild strength pulling against them. Eddie felt like he was going to die from the pleasure. Like Waylon was ripping apart his existence and putting him back together into something even better. The pressure spurred him towards orgasm until his spine curled back like a bowstring. Thrusting upwards with everything he had left as he shouted Waylon’s name. His dick climaxing untouched by hands between their stomaches as Waylon continued to fuck him through the nirvana cocktail of pleasure and pain.  

Waylon only slowed down a fraction as he felt his own release quickly approaching.

“Fucking Hell. You feel so good Pen, o fuck EDDIE. FUCK EDDIE!” Waylon snarled as he grabbed Eddie by the neck and pulled him into a violent kiss. Eddie’s mouth slack and bloody as Waylon bit and licked his way past Eddie’s lips. Their breathing heavier and chests heaving when Waylon finally pulled back for air. Eddie’s glazed blue eyes watching Waylon’s eyes closed tight as he released his cool seed inside Eddie’s deep warmth.

After he finished his release, Waylon collapsed completely on top of the bound wizard. Waylon must have willed the chains to loosen a little, to let Eddie relax his arms and legs again. As restraints finally let his body fully relax and fall naturally onto the bed covers, the shattering release brought clarity to Eddie’s mind as he pondered what had happened. He knew he should try to escape again, but he felt so good he couldn’t remember why he’d wanted to in the first place. His limbs felt well used and heavy and his body melting under the weight of his Waylon. He closed his eyes and started to drift back to sleep before his world literally flipped itself upside down. And he found himself turned around and forced onto his knees before the chains moved around and tightened to hold him down in the new position.

Waylon crawled up next to him and curled around his side as he started to tease his palm up Eddie’s spine. Only to stop and play and put Eddie’s sweat-soaked hair back into place. Eddie was too dumbfounded to process what was happening before Waylon leaned down to whisper into his ear as his gel covered dick started to harden again as it rubbed against Eddie’s bare legs.

“You didn’t think I only had one round in me, did you, Eddie?” Waylon smacked Eddie’s small rear after crawling back on his knees to take his place behind Eddie.

“I did say I was going to fuck you till I’m satisfied or a bird again. And seeing how the spell ain’t dissolved yet. I plan to keep fucking you until it does.”

Eddie’s skin broke into a cold sweat as he remembered his personally crafted spell was weaved specifically to ensnare his swan bride to be his lifelong wife. When he was waiting for Waylon to finished transforming into a human, Eddie spoke the needed syntax to declare them married. And technically speaking, they just consummated their marriage. So Waylon wasn't going to be a animal again anytime soon. 

_It was going to be a  very very very long night._

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I overworked yesterday doing tax stuff for my boss and I stayed longer after work to edit the quarterly report with him. So I used today to type in my hand edits and I used the momentum to finish a short chapter.  
> Please comment and enjoy.<3

**_Day One_ **

     This morning, Eddie’s world woke up blurry but soft as he laid face down in his large bed. His wrists vaguely stung for some reason. And his limbs felt as heavy as concrete but his bed has never felt softer. He barely turned his head away as he used one hand to cover his eyes. The pale sunlight had softly poured in through the French window on the far end of the room. Eddie was always an early riser, even if he went to bed at an unholy hour he’d still wake up at dawn come hell or high water. Turning his head he saw his bedmate, wrapped in a bundle of his sheets and the extra blanket he kept on the end of the bed. The sands of slumber had stalled the gears of his mind, postponing the relapse of memory of the day before. For a single moment, all he knew was the beauty of the innocent expression of peace next to him. He was left speechless as he admired what looked to be an androgynous angel resting in his bed. He could only bask in the simple calming beauty of the person before him as they dreamt. The mysterious person fussed for a moment to move their arm that was supporting their head pillow. The minor shift in position tousled their short hair out of place. Resulting in a couple strands of golden hair to droop over their lovely face.

Eddie tried to move closer to the beautiful stranger, close enough for him to see the thick fan like eyelashes of the sleeper. But as he was about to push the aurum lock of hair off the tender creature’s eyes when the shift in his body sent a throbbing pain through his lower body. The memories of yesterday came flooding in with the waves of pain emitting from his ass.

     This is the fucking beast that soiled and ravished him in his own BED for its own selfish desires. Rutting inside his hole, again, and again and again and again and again until Eddie couldn’t tell where he ended and the man-creature began. Eddie lunged towards his former assailant's neck with his open fists. Growling as he tried to kill and the man who claimed him carnally. The noise and sudden movement woke the mild sleeper and thus the struggle to overpower each other began.

     Eddie’s non-dominant hand might have reached Waylon’s neck first, but Waylon’s two hands grabbed his arm before he could tighten his fist around his throat. Eddie might have a strong grip, but Waylon’s was far stronger. Waylon started to get light headed as Eddie started to slow down his air supply, but Eddie couldn’t even maintain the hold because Waylon was cutting off the entire circulation of his arm and he was quickly losing feeling in it. The duo kept grabbing and fighting despite the stalemate of power. Waylon was starting to turn colors but his hold only got stronger over Eddie. And Eddie’s entire arm started shaking from the pressure numbness of Waylon’s vice grip. Eddie only retreated when he felt like Waylon was starting to literally snap his entire arm like a twig. 

  The brief recoil was all Waylon needed to twist Eddie’s arm around his back. Waylon was lightning fast to straddle Eddie’s back to pin him and his twisted limb in place. Eddie tried to push Waylon off by pushing his free arm down to help him roll over Waylon straddling him. (Much like an untrained equestrian horse collapsing and crushing their rider) But Waylon countered before Eddie could crush him, by hooking his free hand around Eddie’s thick neck into a half nelson. Then he pulled Eddie's twisted arm further down his back forcing the wizard to arch into the hold and lose most of his leverage. From there it was another stalemate. Not so much as a battle of wills because neither would willingly back down, so much as whose body will give in first despite their stupid hosts so they don’t die. With Waylon cutting Eddie’s air supply now, but being literally half squashed on their sides under and against Eddie’s large bulk. And Gluskin clawing behind his neck trying to reach Waylon’s pretty face and trying to use his legs to push himself on top of Waylon while slowly losing consciousness.

It was a feral dance of snarls, force, and fury until the loser conceded. Gluskin, again relented as his vision blurred to the point of near blindness and he was losing feeling in most of his body. Feeling Eddie actually quiet down and his body going rag doll against him, Waylon loosened his hold. He used his legs and hips to push them both onto their full sides again. But kept his palm over Eddie’s Adam apple to show he could still end the wizard if Eddie tried anything.

“That’s better. Not much of a morning person are ya Eddie?”

Eddie snarled at his captor but stayed still. He knows he’s been beaten...for the moment anyway. Only flinching when Waylon shifted back to tease his large morning wood against Eddie’s leaking ass. The wrestling had jostled the large input of Waylon’s seed. Eddie was mortified as he felt the beast’s cum drip out of his tender hole and down his ass and thighs.

“Look! I made you wet again! Such a tease you are my Pen.”

     Eddie snorted in rage before he tried to buck out of the hold again. Waylon just shoved Eddie against the bed and grabbed his other arm and twisted it like the other then yanked both backward toward him. Forcing Eddie’s spine into a curved arch. Eddie couldn’t do a damn thing besides grunt and groan as Waylon eased his large cock back into Eddie’s gaping hole. He didn’t even need to apply the lube at this point. Eddie was so utterly filled with seed, the cum let Waylon slide in and out of the abused hole. Waylon pushed himself into the root before he blowing some air against Eddie’s ear. He then softly whispered.

“You going to be good for me now, Pen?Hmm?”

“F-FUCK YOU.” Eddie barked as he struggled to free his arms.

“Wrong answer.” Waylon pulled out only enough to let him grab Eddie’s neck again, and push them both forward into the mattress. Twisting his grip around Eddie’s good arm tighter as he clamped tightly on the top of Eddie’s spine at the base of his skull. Eddie huffed and puffed as he tried to keep breathing between the pressure on his neck and his face being forced into the Downey feathered bed. He trembled and quieted as Waylon reinserted his club-like cock back inside him. Waylon leaned down to whisper again.

“Want to try that again?” Reaffirming what will happen by gripping his hand so tightly around Eddie’s neck, his nails left red indents on Eddie’s skin before relaxing the hold. Waylon shimmied his still hips, teasing his blunt cock against Eddie’s prostate but not letting Eddie gain an inch of leverage by moving off him.

Eddie murmured into the bed, but Waylon smiled anyway. O he is having so much fun with this large pen.

“Come again? I didn’t hear you witchy boy. Speak up.” Waylon thrust in and out to force the sound of his “jailer”.

Eddie crowed out “I’ll be good you fucking bastard.”

“Naughty. Try again.” Waylon thrust again harder this time. The force a bittersweet painful pleasure against his tender opening. The sensation even brought the swell of unshed tears to the wizard’s tired eyes. Eddie was too tired and tender to continue to fight anymore at this point. He reluctantly replied.

“I’ll be good. I’ll be good.” And like that Waylon pulled them both on their sides again. Letting Eddie breath much easier and allowing Waylon a full view of Eddie’s rock hard cock in the sunlight.

“That’s my good Pen. Hands at your side and your cock. I want to see how pretty you are in the daylight when you scream.”

   Eddie obeyed the orders as he slowly stroked his morning wood and felt Waylon thrust inside him. He’s already been fucked for hours and hours by the man-beast. One more hour of leisurely fucking won’t make much difference in terms of his remaining dignity or his ass hole’s state. Eddie, however, did grind his teeth as Waylon started to fuck him. Waylon’s hand on his throat was gentle but steady. Poised for any resistance from the wizard like an open bear trap.

   Eddie couldn’t stop blushing as Waylon thrust into him on their sides. It felt somehow more obscene being fucked like this in the bright sunlight. With no means of hiding his arousal against the sheets or by the dark night and no chains to blame the ravishment on. He has never felt like such a cheap whore then at that moment.

The self-loathing must have been apparent on his face as Waylon cooed as he leaned over his ribs.

“Come on now. I promise to relieve you too Pen. You look so pretty when you cum on my cock.”

    Waylon had picked a more leisurely pace of fucking then last night. But the tenderness from the near constant use of Eddie’s hole last night sent tremors of sensitivity through Eddie. There wasn’t even any real amount of the aphrodisiac now to blame it on. Waylon’s thrust was lubricated solely on the absurd amount of cum he had fucked into Eddie the night before. Eddie’s stomach was literally swollen from it.

    Eddie bit down his lip to swallow down any moans from the thick cock rubbing his prostate. He argued to himself internally the prolonged sensitivity he must be suffering from Waylon using most of the “aphrodisiac lube” on him all night. Waylon caught on Eddie’s restraint quick enough. He slowed his hips and whispered again against Eddie’s ear, sending goosebumps over Eddie’s neck.

“None of that Eddie. Sing for me Pen. Unless you _want_ me to fuck you for hours and hours _again_ to make you sing for me.”

The next hour was filled with Eddie’s half bitten back moans and the slapping of Waylon’s hips against Eddie’s lower body. A leisurely fuck that Eddie wished would just end and Waylon tried to ensure the opposite. Waylon might have hit Eddie's pleasure spot by sheer luck from his large girth the first time. But now, at what feels like the hundredth time, Waylon was hitting or grazing the sensitive spot on  _every single thrust._ Eddie wanted to scream in rage as he stroked himself and felt Waylon’s actions literally result in his cock to drip cum. But Waylon’s endless energy and the steady unraveling of the wizard over time broke down Eddie’s iron restraint. Feeling Eddie entire body finally unclench and relax against him made Waylon internally rejoice in his victory of his “husband”. Waylon just smiled and smiled as he forced Eddie to arch back again, careful to not choke him, so he could nibble along Eddie’s neck. The tender bites and heavy breathes against his sensitive neck forced Eddie spiraling towards a moaning orgasm.

“Such a pretty voice, keep singing Eddie, and I’ll make you scream.”

Waylon sped up his hips as Eddie sped up his dick stroking. He didn’t care anymore, he needed release more than he needed it to be over now. His moans were loud and unfiltered as Waylon finally released his neck only to play with one of his nipples.

“Come on Eddie, cum for me.”

Eddie moaned out Waylon’s name as he came all over his tight fist. Waylon feeling Eddie’s soft hole wrap tighter around him moaned too. Before chasing his own orgasm by rutting harder into his bedmate. His thrusts forcing more and more cum to dribble out of Eddie’s cock. Feeling his climax starting to overcome him, he bit into Eddie’s shoulder as he filled the wizard again.

The afterglow of their consecutive orgasms was hot and sweaty but neither could be bothered to separate for quite some time. Both exhausted and comfortable, ebbed in and out of sleep for a couple more hours in each other’s embrace.

~

     Eddie could physically hear his joints crack in place as he fumbled to get out of his soiled bed. From the amount of light that filtered in through the window now, it wasn’t noon yet. Pain shot up his spine as he sat on the edge of the bed. His abused opening released another wave of Waylon’s fresh cum onto his expensive sheets. Great.

    Eddie couldn’t even rally the energy to be mad anymore, even as he heard Waylon purring in content behind him on his bed. He managed to summon the means to stumble from the bed to his dresser. He rummaged through the dresser drawers. Damn. Nothing poisonous or plausibly useful against his obscene guest. He did, however, find a couple balms and internal healing gels he bought on a whim when testing out new potions and medicines for internal bleeding or organ damage a couple years prior. He managed to invent a minor concoction that slowed the degree of internal and external bleeding from artery wounds, but unless you had it on hand immediately after being wounded it wasn’t very useful. But in any case, the little stash of bottles hidden among his socks could be useful in attending his private “tenderness” caused by Waylon.

   He managed to hobble bow-legged to the bathroom with his stash. He locked the door behind him as he “attended to his injuries.”  If he got into the bath now, he might not be able to get out of it again until his ass healed. And standing up for a shower was not an option on his muscle relaxed to the point of weak legs. So a whore’s bath was the only viable option for how dirty he felt. He thanked the universe to find he didn’t seem to need his own slow-bleeding mixture after he used a cloth to clean himself up. He had to balance against the wall to curl his arm around to apply the ointments. The cool healing gel felt so good on his hot swollen rim it was borderline obscene.

     Once he was as clean as he could get without assistance, applied a generous amount of various healing aids, and scrubbed his hands and face clean, he unlocked the bathroom door. He still had to deal with his houseguest. He found Waylon waiting for him. Lounging naked on his side on his furs. Greeting him with his dark piercing graze and a sinful smile. Waylon looked fit for an orientalist painter depicting a harem favorite or a bold courtesan welcoming her lover to bed. The beauty was mostly lost on Eddie as he fumbled back to the dresser to grab some damn pants.

   Waylon whistled at his naked body as Eddie ruffled through the lower drawers. Admiring his handwork on Eddie’s small pert ass as he bent down a little. Eddie just ripped out more drawers trying to find loose fitting underwear and pants. He finally managed to find some old silk pajamas he never got around to wearing to bed. (Bad habit of passing out in his library or just collapsing on his bed fully clothed.) As Eddie pulled out his essential clothing, Waylon groaned loudly as he stretched his entire body across his bed like a pampered house cat. Eddie glared at Waylon before continuing to balance himself to get dressed. He didn’t have the energy to rip the furs out from under Waylon, as satisfying as doing so would be he had better things to do. Waylon relaxed like a rag doll as he tilted his head on the edge of the bed and asked Eddie with a sleepy voice.

“So where can I get some food?”

“The bottom of the well,” Eddie grunted as he dropped the underwear and put his feet through the holes.

Waylon's smile looked forced as he crawled to sit on the edge of the bed before he responded.

“Cute. But you’re probably as hungry as I am now. Considering how much you ran and fucked yesterday.”

“No, I’m not.” Eddie dryly responded before his stomachs loud growling betrayed him.

“Fuck. Fine. Let me just put on my pants first.” Eddie shimmied his sore hips into the satin black pants. Thankful they were loose enough to not brush against his embarrassing affliction. He then leaned on the dresser again as he rifled through his drawers again to grab a pink overshirt he wore once to blend in with non-magical folk as a youth. He then tossed it to Waylon who was watching him from the bed still.

“Put your head through this and wear it.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m tired of staring at your tits. Just wear the bloody shirt.”

Waylon examined the shirt like it was a dangerous weapon. “This shirt isn’t bloody tho.”

Eddie rolled his eyes as he hopped a little trying to force his leg into his loose-fitting pants. It was going to be a long fucking day.

~

Eventually, Eddie stumbled his way into his large stocked kitchen and pantry with a kilted half naked Waylon. Waylon refused to button up his shirt but at least he had something on besides his feathered kilt. The kitchen’s ingrained sigils had magically repaired and removed any evidence of their chase from earlier overnight. The cooking pans Eddie had thrown and the decorations Waylon had knocked to the ground while jumping the table island were all back in their original spots.

“You gonna tell me what the weird things are used for?” Waylon asked as he tapped a frying pan hanging above him.

“Preparing food.”

“Why?”

”To make it taste better. Humans don’t have to waste so much time scavenging so we figure out ways to make the food we have tastier.”

“Neat.”

”Quite.

Now I’m barely able to stand up or sit because of you so you can shut up? Go sit over there if you want me to bring you some leftovers.” Eddie pointed to the dining room nearby. The large doorway allowed Waylon to heckle him even from the head of the table next to it.

“Are leftovers good? Do you have any plants or algae I could eat?”

Eddie rolled his eyes as he pulled out a rotisserie chicken from the cool box. He had the energy to reheat it at least. It was usually enough for two meals so he’d have to cut it to share it. Eddie yelled back to Waylon.

“Yes it’s good and no, humans don’t eat algae usually so I don’t have any. And you probably won’t like it now because you have human taste buds now.”

“O come on, how would you know? You’ve never been a bird!” Waylon whined from the dining table.

“Fine.” Eddie scoffed but whirled his wrist to summon some algae from the pond on the grounds nearby. And served it in the thick white china bowls he had pulled out by hand. It was a balancing act of bringing the algae and the medium covered serving platter with the chicken into the dining room but he did it.

Placing the water plants soup in front of Waylon Eddie snarked.

“Here, try it and stop whining. And don’t break my bowls and plates.” Eddie lectured as he took the seat next to Waylon. Thinking himself safer than sitting across the table from him.

Waylon brought the algae bowl to his mouth and tilted it into his mouth like he was drinking the remaining broth of a Ramen soup. The green substance barely reached the back of Waylon’s tongue before he slammed down the sturdy bowl and projectile spat out the vile tasting plants.

Waylon’s head position resulted in the bulk of the algae being spewed across the long mahogany dining table. However, a decent amount of stray remnants, however, landed on Eddie’s face, neck and chest.

Eddie rolled his eyes and gnashed his teeth as he used his napkin to wipe away the green slime off. Waylon oblivious to his mannerisms, just chugged his remaining milk to get the taste out of his mouth. Eddie didn’t get to even enjoy his guests discontent because now he has to clean the wave of algae off his heirloom french table by hand now. He was still recovering his magics and he squandered all his reserves in the fight the day before. Eddie was too disgusted by the spit take and the mess to feel like eating at the moment. So he just pushed his luckily unalgaed rotisserie chicken towards Waylon. He already preheated it using a sliver of magic, he just hadn’t gotten around to removing the silver lid over it.

“I told you, you wouldn’t like it. Now shut up and eat some of the chicken. I need to clean now.”

“Fine.” Waylon agreed as he opened the lid. Whatever a chicken was, it smelled delicious. Eddie got up to walk back to the kitchen for his cleaning rags. He couldn’t stand looking at the mess Waylon has reduced his dining room to in under a minute.

“Don’t destroy things until I get back.”

Waylon waved him off as he yanked out a leg off the chicken and bite into it. He apparently liked meat, even if he didn’t know what kind of meat a chicken was.

Eddie’s sense of perfectionism managed to give him some energy as he doubled back to quickly clean up Waylon’s mess. He didn’t look up at Waylon or his disgusting chewing sounds until he cleaned away the last of the gunk. He found Waylon had finished a large portion of the meal and was picking his teeth with a small bone fragment.

“This was good. Where’d ya get it?”

“I have an aviary slash chicken coop for eggs and meat in the corner of the property. The birds are too loud at all hours of the day so I just use spells to tend to them.”

“Wait. Chickens are birds? Fuck. Did you just make me commit cannibalism? Wait, is it still taboo to eat my bird kin if you transfigurated me into a man? This is so messed up.”

“Of course chickens are birds. You know what magic I used to change you and the right application of the word cannibalism but you didn’t know a chicken was a BIRD?”

“You’re stupid magic taught me basics shit based on things I already knew as a bird. I knew marriage is the human equivalent of life mates. I vaguely understood changing forms was a thing because fae folk change into birds or animals a lot and HIDE in our groups. Usually, nice blokes who just want some quiet time and not be accused of fucking mortals. It freaked me out when they turned back and said hi with the birds voice I recognized as my friend.”

“But a chicken!”

“I’ve never seen a fucking chicken in my life. You just handing me a plate with a slab of meat doesn’t exactly tell me “Hey, we could be a cousin! Have a nice meal, you cannibal!”.

“For fuck's sake. You’re human now, so why does it matter? And even if you weren’t,  swan's and chickens are as close of cousins as tabby cats and African panthers. Only in the most technical sense. But I doubt I want to know why you know the word cannibalism so please shut up.”

“I got lost near the coast as a cygnet and I saw  hungry pelican swallow a slow pigeon like it was a feathery fish.”

“I said I didn’t want to know, and now I know I wish I didn’t know. Shut up and finish your food you Laestrygonian bastard.”

“Apologize first.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you insulted me even if I don’t know what a laestian whatever is. And I can really mess up your kitchen again if I have to figure out how to make my own meal like a human. Especially if you don’t have things that teach cooking.”

‘Fuck. Fine. I’m sorry for calling you a Laestrygonian bastard. Now please, let me eat in peace.”

“Thank you.....This is still very sketchy.”

Eddie just remained quiet and started to eat his meal. Waylon hadn't eaten all of it at least. He made mental note to order some children's learning books and summon them overnight as soon as possible. He'd be bald from pulling his hair out trying to deal with Waylon's questions otherwise. And the books will give him more time to research how to undo his spell. Or gain the magical energy to just kill the horny creature. Whichever happens first. Eddie's not exactly picky with his options at this point.

  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie has the displeasure of teaching Waylon the basics of hygiene. And Waylon is going to learn them whether he wants to or not.

**_Day 10_ **

        The next couple of days proved to be more of the same.  The days that past usually revolved around a similar series of events or situations, like the following ; aggravating conversations revolving around Waylon’s random or absurd questions (either about basic things like how do you make bread to advanced things like who invented the concept of philosophical ethics because he read a lesser known miniature book of Enlightenment philosophy), to Eddie complaining he has to use energy for small spells  to make them their meals or clean up their messes because he’s too busy and he doesn’t trust Waylon to do it right, Eddie spending hours trying to ignore Waylon looking for his illustrated manuscripts because he has research how he can break Waylon’s spell, Eddie failing in his attempt to fuck Waylon before the other could do so to him because he could see the glint in the smaller man’s eyes, to them both fighting for control , Eddie being dragged to bed by Waylon because it’s late or because Eddie lost the wrestling match and agreed to bottom again, Eddie being mounted repeatedly in Eddie’s master bed or on various surfaces, and the day ending with Eddie and Waylon passing out on top of each other over the covers at an ungodly hour until the next day where they start all over again.

        Lord Gluskin had paid a small fortune to the magic book vendor by ordering over the telephone a large number of children’s books and bestiaries to be sent overnight. His mother thought installing various “modern conveniences” such as phones, electric outlets and even wifi in the family estate would encourage family and friends to visit more often or longer. Sadly due to the fear of upsetting the previous Lord Gluskin and the rumors surrounding his ancestral home and his more unstable ancestors, few dared to visit long enough for afternoon tea might as well stay overnight for a visit. Eddie only laughed at the absurdity of the stories when he inherited the title from his father at a young age. If his mad ancestor’s had left a room of rejected women hanging from the rafters, he would have found it already. Or his magic would have found residue of violent ghosts stalking the halls. People will believe anything if it supported their already decided dislike for a person or their family.

       But the arrival of the books brought a thing Eddie valued more than gold at this point. Silence is at the very least a temporary relief from Waylon’s endless questions and unrelenting libido. However, some aspects of human daily life Waylon had evaded, avoided and literally came to fist fights over. One of these was the concept of hygiene. Which led to this current predicament. Waylon clinging to the rafters filthy and naked because Gluskin burned his shirt off and hide the swan feather skirt to be thoroughly cleaned when Waylon was distracted by his new meal of peas and pork.

“For fuck's sake get down from there.” Eddie impatiently tapped his bare feet on the tiled floor as he glared up Waylon laying across the “hidden” exposed beams that arched over the large bathroom. Eddie had hoped by making the old beams invisible and magically blockading the door, there would be nowhere for Waylon to hide from the bath. That plan didn’t pan out.

Waylon barely dipped his foot into the steamy pool before sprinting away. He jumped onto the marble countertops to get away from Eddie. Eddie tried to unbalance him by grabbing his legs and when Waylon jumped over his tall shoulders into the air, in his flailing he caught the side of a beam. He latched onto it before swinging himself up on top of it. Waylon, now he is lounging on top of it like a stranded cat. The beam was still invisible and transparent, resulting Waylon looking like he was just levitating and smirking down at him. And even if he could see it, it’s a narrow beam and Eddie wouldn’t be able to grapple Waylon anyway. So now it’s a battle of patience and wits waiting for whether or not the smelly houseguest bath or not.

“No.”

“You literally reek and I can’t keep using cleaning spells on you for the smell forever!” Eddie barked at Waylon, to no avail.

“No.”

“Get in the fucking bathtub.”

“No, you are trying to cook me like the chicken. You already got rid of all my feathers and that weird stuff in it is the nasty soup broth.”

Eddie screamed so loud, his neck arched further back from the force. Sending his drenched ungelled hair to fall further out of place. His fine but simple white peasant shirt equally wet from Waylon’s shenanigans. Waylon had used the soap bucket to chuck water at him the last time he corned the swan groom near the tub.

“Those are bath bubbles from SOAP you imbecile. You’re delirious because you haven’t slept in two days since I started trying to bath you!” Eddie tried to calm himself down as he fussed with his tedious hair falling over his eyes.

“No. Those are hot boil bubbles. You’re trying to kill me.”

“Believe me, your stench will kill us both before that happens. Now get down from there.”

“Not coming down,” Waylon said defiantly as he turned to lay diagonally along the invisible beam. He wasn’t even bothering to look at Eddie while they argued. He lounged like he was on a still hammock. Pouting as he admired the gilded gold foil star patterns on the ceiling.

“If I bath with you, will that satisfy you?”

“What?”

“If I get in the tub WITH you and clean us BOTH up, proving I’m not trying to boil you alive, will you finally come down and clean yourself?” Eddie was pleading at this point. Waylon was one day of exercise away from having cartoon stench lines wafting around him.

“Okay”

“Okay?”

“I just said okay, didn’t I? Waylon snarked down at Eddie.

“Yes okay. I’ll redraw the tub then.”Eddie responded, completely flustered because he didn’t expect that to work so quickly. He expected a longer argument or some leverage sex demand but he didn’t push his luck and just started to refill the bathtub.

“......Don’t make it so hot this time.”

“Fine. But by God, you are getting your pale hide in it and I’m scrubbing you till your pink.”

Waylon only turned himself around to look down and watch Eddie bend over to work the tub again. Eddie’s clothing was soaked from the first attempt to bath Waylon. So the informal peasant shirt and sweatpants clung nicely to Eddie’s muscles. Waylon practically purred as he watched Eddie disrobe the wet clothing and toss it into the laundry basket. Eddie just went along doing his thing while blatantly ignored Waylon’s eye groping of his bulky body at this point.

“Waylon, come on, I’m in. Now get down here.

Gluskin looked up at the banister Waylon was hanging from as he pleaded before moving on. He just sat down into the expensive marble tub, he waited this long might as well get comfy.

       Eddie pondered to himself about the situation. As long as Waylon didn’t jump into the tub from the beam, he’d be fine. Although it’s big enough for him to easily avoid being landed on. He had the tub to be made to be more than big enough to let him easily stretch out and soak to heal his possible injuries from his long travels. The tub was more suitable in size for a small pool then a bathtub but he liked the space. It would, however, save him a world of trouble if Waylon just broke his own neck. But Gluskin didn’t feel the appeal of such an outcome of being free to remarry in such a way. He countered the sentimental implications to himself thinking “It’s because I’d have to clean the blood and lug his body out of here. That must be it.” He went ahead and leaned forward to dunk and scrub his hair. He felt compelled to try and shake the image of Waylon being dead out of his mind.  Eddie ran his fingers through his hair as it hung down the sides of his face like a black curtain. Making sure to rub in the water and bath oils into his scalp. But the act technically blinded him as he worked. He closed his eyes tightly before flipping his hair back like those models the non-magical folk put on video ads, Eddie flinched as he heard the water debris slap against something besides the water or ground. He pushed the hair out of his eyes to see Waylon sitting cross-legged by the edge. Waylon clearly covered in soap and water and mad about it. He must have been staring open-mouthed at Eddie because he was spitting out soap bubbles. Waylon kept rubbing his hands to wipe off the water.

      Ewww. Even the sudsy spray from Eddie’s hair helped Waylon get cleaner. The faint spray started to melt the subtle but all covering layer of grim and dust darkening Waylon’s lily white skin. Specks of dust, dirt, sweat, and debris trickled down the rivulets of water dripping off Waylon’s naked neck, face, and torso. Since Eddie hid his skirt to clean the foul-smelling muddied thing with deep cleaning charms, Waylon’s been crawling through every vent, crawl space, hidden nook, unused dusty storage room, and window bench cubby trying to find it. At one point he even tried to shove a fire poker up a large fireplace thinking it could have a hidden room behind it. Which was a clever idea in theory but Gluskin believe it was likely a bad idea in practice, what with soot or guests preparing the fire while you hide your things in the hidden room. Waylon not only smells but he has patches of soot on his skin. That was three days ago. He was mildly unhygienic before, now Waylon looked and smelled like a homeless vagabond rejected from the court of miracles for actually having leprosy.

Eddie grabbed Waylon and pulled him in the deep water tub before he could escape again. Waylon went ragdoll limp hoping Eddie would drop him soon enough. But he didn’t realize how much lighter a body is once partially submerged in water. Eddie held Waylon under one arm, his head above the water but facing down so he could clean Waylon’s filthy hair. Eddie quickly used the bucket to soak Waylon’s head, before pouring a heavy cleaner shampoo and conditioner from a non-magic vendor he met once. He only uses it when he’s injured and can’t bath easily. It should minimize the pain for everyone involved. Throwing the bucket back on the rim farther away, Eddie started to scrub the minty smelling goo into Waylon’s hair.

“Thank Merlin for water cleansing spells.”Eddie thought to himself.  “Or Waylon in the bath would be like a disgusting tea bag full of vile substances in hot water.”

 

      Waylon gave up the ragdoll tactic at this point and was flailing, clawing, kicking and splashing a third of the water out of the large tub. Eddie only released Waylon after the suds up all of Waylon’s hair and when his own neck and arm started to bleed from Waylon’s dirty nails clawing towards his face. The duo parted from the stranglehold on each other, sloshing the water around them like a storm at sea.  Both were wobbling on their feet in the hip-deep tub, sharply gasping for air. Waylon dove away further into the water, trying to get away. Afraid to open his eyes and risk more of the foul stinging goo in his hair blinding him. He pushed his hair flat with one hand, trying to force the soap off like unwanted mud. Waylon brushed down against his soapy hair trying to push away the goo from his eyes, he looked like an extra in a Valentino movie. He tried to use his other arm to wipe more out but Eddie was holding it still. Eddie was fully latched onto one of Waylon’s arms and wasn’t about to let go. After two days of arguing and fighting over basic hygiene, the wizards patience had fully run out and he was fully prepared to break Waylon’s arm if it meant keeping the disgusting man-beast in the bathtub. “You aren’t getting away that easy!”

Waylon tried to shift away and reel his arm back to jump out, but Gluskin holding it with both hands. He’d dislocate his shoulder blade and break the arm before either force gave up. Looking back at Gluskin, hoping the scare him Waylon faltered when he saw the rage in the man’s face. Even Waylon the bold bastard could see that the wizard was fully prepared to murder him, even at the cost of his own life as long as he could bring down Waylon too.

“Eddie, let’s make another deal.”

“I’m not letting you out of this tub until you are clean as a whistle. I’m not accepting anything less you vile bird.”

Waylon’s entire body relaxed as he got closer to Eddie. The sinful smirk on Waylon’s lips making Eddie’s hair stand on end.

“Let me finger you. So I know you won’t try to drown me,”

“NO. I’m just going to scrub you raw not drown you-you idiot. Now you’re just being paranoid.”

“No, I’m really not. It’s been a while and killing me would save you so much research on how to fix your impulsive mistake.”

“True, but I already learned the hard way I can’t wrestle you and expect to end up on top.”

“Doesn’t mean you wouldn’t try given the right circumstances.”

‘FINE. But no whining when I wash your hair and wash your hands first. They're filthy!” Eddie moved  Waylon to sit down on the in tub bench. Never taking his eyes off the man, even as he reached over for the soaped washrags he’d prepared and the bucket on the other side of the walk-in tub.

Waylon pouted as Eddie approached him with the soapy artillery. But sat quietly as Gluskin went ahead to scrub his arms with the tiny soft washcloth like it was a kitchen scrub brush and Waylon was a petrified dirty cooking platter, keeping on hand on the rim of the tub in case he needed to smack Gluskin and bolt.

Waylon started to get used to the warmer water temperature as things continued. He passed the time by ogling the up-close view of Eddie’s muscles in motions. Even if it was scrubbing Waylon’s arm and hands within an inch of his life.  Waylon’s mind wandered as he watched. The swan groom eventually thought to himself.

“This bathing stuff isn’t SO bad I guess. The water feels okay and Eddie is quiet and pretty. I guess, o fuck no!” Gluskin reached over and brought over a cuticle pusher from the edge of the bath. It was metal, long, and thin like a bunch of the weapons Eddie had to hid since his arrival. He told Waylon they were too dangerous, and they could kill each other if they fought using them. Gluskin must have double-crossed the promise of no blade fights.

“We said no WEAPONS” Waylon screamed as he tried to swing his legs over the rim of the tub from his chair. Gluskin quickly grabbed his arm again and one of his feet to keep him planted in the tub. Being careful to not drop or force the manicure tool into Waylon’s scrubbed thin and pink skin.

“It’s a nail pusher you imbecile! I need it to get the dirt from under your nails! It helps me push out the dirt!”

“Why the fuck do you need a knife to do that? Why do you need to do that?!”

“It’s not a knife and you have so much dirt under there you could grow turnips under your nails! And look, it's not sharp! Look!” Gluskin rubbed the spoon like round end of the small tool along with his arm that was still latched onto Waylon’s arm. Waylon watched Eddie drag the instrument but was still highly skeptical of something called a “nail pusher”, sounds like it removes nails not clean them.

“See? Not dangerous. I’m just gonna use it to get out the dirt.”

Waylon’s eyes shifted from the tool to Eddie as he slowly got back into his seat. As weird and absurd the demand felt to the bird turned man, he let Gluskin win this round and clean his dirty hands. If  Eddie tried anything weird, he would make the wizard fix it after he kicked the man’s ass (and fucked it hard).

Eddie quickly but softly cleaned out the thick thatch of soil and dirt out from under Waylon’s short round nails. Waylon was still tense in his seat and the wizard still needed to clean off the other 95% of filth remaining on the smaller man. He was thankful at least he didn’t need to clean the youth’s toenails or trim his hands. Now that would likely result in a fist fight when Waylon sees’s a nail clipper.

Soon enough Eddie had pushed out the dirt, brushed Waylon’s nails to shining, and rewashed both their hands with a wash rag. As Gluskin rinsed Waylon’s hands of the soap, Waylon quickly tried to yank the poor wizard onto his lap with a one-person carry. Eddie managed to pull back before Waylon could grapple him by hooking his arm behind his knees. Resulting in a large jostling of the water out of the overfilled tub.

“You’re not getting away that easy.” Waylon changed tactics and hooked his hands around Eddie’s waist to pull him back by grabbing each ass cheek. Between Waylon’s hands on his rear and Waylon koala hooking his legs around Eddie’s legs from his seat, Eddie was trapped. Eddie’s face turned to hot red and it sure wasn’t because of the warm water. If he wanted Waylon clean, he had to let himself get fingered as he cleaned the annoying bird. Might as well just get this over with.

“We need to switch places, to um, let you do you know,” Eddie stated awkwardly, he didn’t really plan this far ahead.

A couple minutes of extremely awkward shuffling and maneuvering around each other, they found a somewhat functional position of Waylon between Eddie’s widespread legs. Eddie had to spread his legs uncomfortably wide to get his hips at an angle to let Waylon hook his fingers but his long arms allowed him to reach the soft golden youth with a washcloth.

“I could get used to this. You being pretty and quiet and spread open for me.” Waylon commented as he gently pushed his fingers against Eddie’s abused rim. Eddie nearly bit through his tongue to stay quiet as he focused on filling the water bucket and rinsing out Waylon’s hair. Waylon might have forced all the water out of his golden locks but there was still a lot of soap in it. Waylon shut up for once and bowed his head again, but he hooked his fingers deeper inside and the unused ones gripped the outside tightly in retaliation. It was uncomfortable but Eddie didn’t falter as dunked bucket after bucket of water over Waylon’s head and rubbed the soap more evenly between each rinse.

     Eventually, he got all the sticks and dirt and oils out with the combo shampoo. Eddie barely contained his smugness as he Waylon glared at him from behind the dripping wall of golden hair over his face after he finished. Waylon snorted and shoved the hair behind his ears with one hand. Eddie’s heart stuttered when Waylon finished fixing his hair and started to smile at him with that glint in his eyes. Waylon eased a fourth finger inside the already stretched hole. Waylon basically ripped the smirk off Eddie’s face as he stretched the man’s rim further.  Eddie whined at the stretch but said nothing as he grabbed the washcloth floating and started to scrub Waylon’s body. Eddie wanted to scream murder as he felt his manhood swell from admiring Waylon’s soft skin covered muscles and Waylon’s blatant teasing against his prostate. He wanted to scrub until Waylon bled but he didn’t want to risk Waylon’s retaliation and risk his literal ass. He tried to work as fast as he could but Waylon was filthy so it took a full hour and most of his remaining dignity before he was satisfied with Waylon’s state of hygiene.

“I’m done. You’re released now. Be free.” Eddie snarked as he tried to push Waylon away.

“Now we do you.~” Waylon said in a coy tone. This wasn’t good.

“What?”

“Now I clean you.”

Eddie thought about it a minute and liked the idea of Waylon spread and vulnerable under him. This was his best chance of wrecking the blond bastard since he arrived.

“Okay.”

Waylon flipped them around, but Eddie didn’t end up where he’d thought he'd be. He was on top, only in the literal sense. Before he could blink, Waylon took a seat and shoved his ass down to the root onto Waylon’s hard prick. The prolonged fingering made it fairly easy even with minimal lube on hand. Waylon, once he seated Gluskin, made sure to clutch both of Eddie’s wrists to keep him from resisting.

“You fucking liar.”

“I said I’d clean you. I didn’t say how we’d go about it.” Waylon giggled at Eddie’s expense.

Waylon pulling Eddie down by his hands like iron chains. Yeah, Eddie could fight but it was clear there was not going to be any negotiations from here on out for their bath adventures.

“Fine. You sick manipulative fuck.”

“Good. Now be a good pen and don’t move.”

     Eddie squirmed as Waylon intentionally took his sweet time rubbing the washcloth over every inch of skin.  Eddie being much bigger and Waylon’s ulterior motives led to this dragging on even longer. Waylon didn’t even pretend to subtle as he kept doubling back to places he’s already washed solely because he knows it’s an erogenous zone and will make the larger man squirm in his lap. Every time Eddie thought himself getting close to orgasm, Waylon would hold his prick tight and stop until he calmed down again. After a while, Eddie thought his balls were literally turning purple from the constant denial, the foreplay, and the thick shaft brushing against his prostate.

“All done! You can move now.”

“Thank fuck,” Eddie complained as he tried to get up to relieve his urges alone.

“Nuh uh uh. I said you can move now, I didn’t say you could get out.” Waylon said with a smile so wide it hurt his face. He was having so much fun tormenting his host.

“Hell No.”

“Not optimal. You know I’m a patient fucker and can stay hard _for hours._ Do you really want to try and beat me in a game of patience?”

Eddie snarled but Waylon’ didn’t even flinched as he felt Eddie’s spit hit his face.

“FINE”

“Good.”

Eddie started them off by grabbing Waylon’s skull and pulling him into a biting kiss. It was more teeth and tongue then lips but it got both their blood pumping. Waylon pushed Eddie away after he bites a cut on Eddie’s lip.

‘Move already you magical bastard.” Waylon demanded, his voice breathy and desperate.

Eddie started out a harsh pace by thrusting his hips up and down but couldn’t maintain the energy for his rage after a couple of long moments. Waylon just laid back and smiled as he watched with wide eyes how Eddie was wrecking himself on his cock.

“Slow down, you can’t stop til we both cum my pen.”

        Eddie placed both his hands on the bath tub’s rim as support as he started to ride Waylon’s cock. Shifting to a more bearable pace, using his upper body and legs to move him instead. The shift resulted in Gluskin getting a more direct pressure on his prostate. Testing his willpower to not just rabbit fuck Waylon again. Waylon looked spellbound and smug as he admired Eddie as he started to unravel.

“Good boy.” Waylon cooed as he started to help Eddie move with one hand holding Eddie’s hips. Keeping him at the slow aggravating pace. A whine erupted from the back of Eddie’s throat as Waylon forced him to slow down.

“It’s okay Eddie, I’m still going to make you feel good.”

Waylon started to pinch and bite Eddie’s pink nipples. It wasn’t too hard given how Eddie had to loom a little to support his weight. Waylon nipped and petting every inch he could reach until Eddie was close to tears and his own climax swiftly approached.

“Let me help you for the last bit.”

Waylon grabbed Eddie by the hips to help him pick up the pace. Eddie let out a breathy sob as he was finally allowed to rush towards his climax. His body felt like an abused wire strung so tight from the strain. He all but threw himself up and down as his dick twitched under the bubbled waters. Waylon grabbed Eddie’s cock and stroked him into a screaming climax. Eddie curled around Waylon as he came and came into the man’s tight fist. He muttered against Waylon’s neck, completely out of his mind from the sex high.

“Thank you, Waylon, thank you thank you thank you thank....”Released from his pleasurable agony, at last, he couldn’t feel his legs and arms anymore. But that didn’t stop Waylon from continuing after his own climax, lifting Eddie’s dead weight to a new angle to thrust into the warm hole. As Waylon climaxed he bite into Eddie’s neck, ripping a moan from the man’s throat. The oversensitivity making the pain mingle all too well with pleasure for his body. Waylon gasped for air under Eddie’s bulk, as he emptied himself into the muscular giant on top of him. His smile so wide it was indecent as the rest of him. He enjoyed the afterglow for a while but he eventually lifted Eddie off his shaft and held him side saddle on his lap again. Keeping Eddie’s head resting against his neck. Eddie was still too dazed and worn out to do anything about it.

They stayed close together for a long time after, just enjoying the water until it became uncomfortably cold. Eddie then flicked his wrist, turning the drain handle to empty the tub and turn the faucets right next to them to turn on.

“What are you doing?” Waylon twisted his neck to see the faucets pouring fiercely hot water into the bath beside them.

Eddie groaned against Waylon’s ears, not bothering to really move or open his eyes as he explained. “We got dirty again. We should clean up again while we’re here. I just turned on the warm water again to replace the dirty water. The spell I used wore off and this is just easier.”

“Oh…..This feels nice actually. Warm water isn’t so bad I guess.”

**_*Three hours later*_ **

“Waylon, get out of the tub.”

“No I figured out the knob things and now it’s soft and warm again.”

‘You are such a pain, I wish I did boil you like a chicken before. But I’m too tired for fire magic or arguing. We were in the tub for hours, you are literally a prune at this point.”

“No. It’s nice now.”

“Ten more minutes then I pull the plug and hex the tap handles.”

“Fine, you fun wrecker.”

“I’ve been called worse for flimsier reasons. You’re skirt is still being cleaned so there’s a temporary copy of it on the counter with your new shirt.”

Waylon’s eyes smiled at him as the man’s face was half submerged in the now soapless tub. Eddie just rolled his eyes before getting out of there before Waylon could try and pull him in again. He should have known better. Swans are aquatic birds after all.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie decides to try and teach Waylon some basics of baking in order to give Waylon something to do besides driving him mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm revamping this oneshot series into a actual storyline. But I'm going to have to add a lot more plot in each chapter. I have to, half because I have a really good idea for the story it really requires a lot of exposition. And half because I can't escalate the angry sex anymore without them literally murdering each other and it's starting to get redundant until I add more character development.  
> *I switched chapter 4 and 5's order because this made more sense to have earlier.

Eddie was at his wits ends. His ass could not handle the constant fucking. It was bad enough when it was just getting fucked through his bed every damn night. Now Waylon had taken to fighting and fucking him whenever he grew bored and tired of reading or waiting for him to come to bed. Waylon pretty much mastered the “cleaning” spell Eddie had magical taught to his potential bride so they could always have fun together to a master level degree. It’s gotten to the point Eddie resorted to sitting on doughnut pillows and sleeping on his stomach. It’s a miracle nothing has ripped since they've run through almost a barrel's worth of lube since Waylon's arrival. Thus began Eddie’s first big project with Waylon.

“Okay, you need a hobby. So let's try cooking. This TV show teaches beginner baking. Watch it. Write notes , and then attempt to bake what the lady made.”

“What's in it for me?”

”You get to learn how to make good food without me and have something to do besides read and fuck my ass.”

“That mostly benefits you.”

“Fine. What do you want in exchange?”

“Give me a minute…..”

“Well?" Eddie asked impatiently.

“Kissing. You teach me how to do the romantic kissing thing I seen on tv.”

“.....What?”

“Most foreplay we do is fighting or you literally trying to bite me. I want to know real kissing and other stuff.”

”....Fine. but you learn to make something first. Then we talk about kissing and _other stuff_.”

Eddie gave Waylon a quick overview of the tools and machines in the kitchen. Even told him how to break a egg, so Waylon would just toss a full shelled egg into a mixing bowl. It was a tense discussion until Eddie explained they were not fertilized eggs and thus not murdering a baby bird. It was just the biological components for a baby that weren't used.

Eddie handed Waylon a beginner baking book and left him to his own devices.

He settled in the dining room with a month worth of American and European newspapers. Just something to distract himself but not for too long. God knows he expected Waylon to barge in every five minutes. But no, only the occasional question shouted from the adjacent room.

“How do you set the oven to a specific temperature again?”

“What's the difference between a baking sheet and a pan?”

“Who the hell thought up the idea of putting unfertilized eggs with sugar and butter in the first place ?” the last one was rhetorical and for humor , but a valid question nonetheless.

While wrapped up in reading the victory party held by the newly elected French president, Waylon actually bothered to come into the dining room. Tapping Eddie’s shoulder and spooking the wizard to look up from his paper.

“What’s wrong?”

“The oven’s supposed to be hot, but not actually on fire right?” Waylon meekly asked while avoiding eye contact.The smell of something burning wafted into the dining room.

Eddie bolted out of his seat and grabbed the fire extinguisher his mother kept by the doorway. He fumbled as walked in trying to aim it. Black smoke had already floated up and covered the ceiling. Which soon set off the fire alarms down the corridor.

“The fuck is screaming?”

Eddie didn’t bother answering as he sprayed the open door oven with flames pouring out with the chilling foam. He used a flick of his wrist to turn off the oven because it was still too hot to touch. But sprayed the fire extinguisher one more time to make sure nothing that fell off the baking plate caught fire.

Then he shouted “Alarm off” which turned off the shrieking fire alarm ringing through the house.

“What in Merlin’s name did you do?” Eddie barked as he rushed to open all the windows in the surrounding rooms by hand and by magic.

Waylon was too busy coughing and using rags to move the smoke away from the alarms.

“I thought it would go faster if I made the temperature hotter.”  
“Well it didn’t numbskull. It will take me all day to fix all this.” Eddie gestured to the foam covered oven, dirty practice bowls from Waylon’s failed attempts at mixing the recipe. And just all the things that got knocked over, burnt, drenched in the stench of smoke, and broken in the flailing attempts to stop the fire.

“No it won’t you liar. You have the fixing spells in place.”

“Yeah, for basic shit. Not cleaning out soot and fire extinguishing shit!”

“I still spent hours trying to teach myself how to do this. Since you couldn’t be bothered to guide me step by step and I had to figure out a lot of shit myself.I should get something for trying.”

“You get a quick kick in the ass is what you should get….” Eddie muttered as he cast a chilling spell over the oven before using a wet rag to remove the hot pans and put them in the sink.

“I just spent two hours trying to make shit. That’s not nothing.” Waylon pouted as he tried to clean the pans sink but burned his hand. Eddie huffed before turning on the tap to cold water and pushing the tape head above the pans. The cold water rushed down and steamed right back up like the kitchen was a blacksmith workshop and they were fixing their tools. Eddie grumbled as he doubled back to use individual spells to remove the burn stains and smoke damage on his ceilings. Waylon stuck his tongue at Eddie while he wasn’t looking. Before starting to actually scrape off the petrified burnt cookie scraps off the pan.

After spending half he day cleaning the kitchen to acceptable conditions again. And just making a simple sandwich dinner for them both. Eddie then explained.

“We can try to teach you alchemy. That part of the house is designed to withstand explosions. And I believe I still have my starter school books in there.”

“Can I actually ask you things about the process this time?”

“Only if it’s not a stupid question the books can answer. I’m going to take a bath now. I think I have soot and gunk imbedded in my skin.”

“I’d race you, but I’m too tired. Please take me with you, I smell like a fire place’s armpit.”

“Yes, yes you do. I’ll leave you in my room, and take a bath elsewhere.”

“Fine you’re lose, I’m still gonna fuck you tomorrow morning even if I pass out first.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Waylon gets lost for the 100th time, Eddie resorts to personally teaching Waylon how to navigate the manor by giving him a tour and personalized map of the building. Things eventually descend into childish horseplay and bickering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just switched the next chapter with the 4th one because it made more sense in the story.

“EDDIE!EDDIE?” Eddie heard his name being shrieked out in the distance. He sighed and got up from his tome. Waylon either broke something or got lost on the way back from the kitchen, AGAIN.

“Waylon?” Eddie roared as he peered out into the hallway. They’ve resorted to using a childish version of Marco Polo to find each other in the mountain mega mansion that was the Gluskin estate.   
The protection wards ingrained into the very bones of the building prevented almost all forms of tracking magics. A safety precaution in the case of the building being seized as a stronghold during the medieval period. Invaders can’t kill the local family in power if they can’t find them.

Which might have been a brilliant way to ensure their survival in it’s time. But now it was merely one of the many things that was a pain in the current Master Gluskin’s ass. Waylon without his wings seemed to lose all sense of direction, and thus constantly can’t tell where he’s going and getting lost on a regular basis.

“Eddie?” Waylon’s screaming sounding even farther away then before.

“Stop moving Waylon. Where are you?” Eddie shouted as he finally put his books down and left his room.

“I’m in a tiled room, but it’s not the kitchen or a bathroom.” Waylon said with a frustrated tone.

“Are there plants in it?” Eddie inquired as he stopped walking. No sense in going in any direction until he knows what room to aim towards. He groaned and pinched the arc of his nose as he felt a headache coming on.   
Waylon could be anywhere from one of the magical atriums, to the greenhouse, to any a variety of other rooms his mother had personalized over the years. Heaven forbid Waylon got into one of the magical rooms that switch places with other rooms around the house. It took hours to find him when he did that last week. And by then, the birdbrain was hungry again and had to be guided to the kitchens.

“Not a lot of real ones. But there’s like a farm view on a wall for some reason.” Waylon explained. Clearly confused by why someone would paint a mural at all, when they could just go to a farm like this.

Eddie sighed as he took long legged strides down a different corridor. “Ah, Summer tea room. I’ll be there, don’t move.”

      Eddie knew exactly what path to take to get to his Mother’s “Tea in Tuscany” tea room. His mother always had a flair for aesthetics and not being allowed to travel much led her to bringing her escape her with them. She had hand  painted most of the room herself. Designing and painting all the walls to look like a huge outdoor balcony overlooking a sunrise on a beautiful Tuscan vineyard.   
    Even the ceiling is painted to look a beautiful redwood pergolas with native Tuscany wild flowers growing on top of and around it. Her detail work on the mural was so finely detailed it border lined on eerie. She didn’t even use magic when she painted it. Yet every time he went inside the room, some part of him kept thinking he could climb through the “window” and touch the vineyard grape vines. Eddie can’t remember the last time he had went in there without his mother bribing him with cookies.

“Waylon, how the Devil did you end up on the other side of the house? I gave you directions from the my personal library to the nearest bathroom and the kitchen.”

“I had to go pee, and then my stomach rumbled so I tried to find the kitchen after leaving the bathroom . I found a room that wasn’t a kitchen filled with fruit and just ate that. And then I tried to walk back but nothing looked the same, even when I swear I walked the same route from the fruit room to the bathroom.”

“You probably forgot which way was left and which way was right AGAIN.

“Hey, this place is stupidly massive. It’s like you want people to go mad while trying to find the bathroom.” Waylon stomped his foot as he impatiently paced the large room waiting to be found.

“It’s designed for a large clan you imbecile. Lots of cousins, siblings, parents, grandparents, visiting extended relatives, and any of the above guests.”

‘Well where the fuck are they?” Waylon shouted out, his voice getting louder as Eddie approached.

Eddie walked into the room to find Waylon staring at the ceiling from laying on the floor.

“Finally found you. And to answer your question, most of my extended or immediate family has died old age, died young, died doing something valiant but impulsive, or disinherited for horrible things.”

“Seeing how one of your ancestors was a absolute lunatic who studied demons and blood magic despite not being a wizard, that’s a tall order of crazy.” Waylon commented as Eddie helped pull himself up off the ground.

“Yeah, well inbreeding between third or fourth cousins over the centuries can take its toll. Not to mention coupled all that with  privilege and means rarely results in the most stable of people.”

“And yet you're such a high person of merit.”

“At least I know chickens are birds. And how to tell the difference between right and left. Just remember which hand you write with, you idiot.” Eddie scoffed as he walked out of the room.

“I use both hands Eddie!” Waylon whined as he fixed his messenger bag filled with snacks and books he’s plundered. It was a older messenger bag crafted by Mrs.Gluskin for her son during his school years. It was a fine bag, but now Waylon had it constantly filled with fruit , bread crumbs, and pulp fiction books the previous Mrs.Gluskin favored in her youth.

“And yet your writing is still shit. How can you not remember how to tell right from left? I explained it for at least half a hour yesterday!” Eddie yelled as he started to guide Waylon back toward his library and study.

“I wasn’t paying attention. You had that deep cleavage shirt on because you used too much magic to heat the house again. I was distracted by your muscle tits.”

“That’s no excuse.” Eddie argued , clearly uncomfortable with the phrasing.

“Like you wouldn’t stare if someone walked in here with their tits out to there even if they were lecturing you.” Waylon said with a valid point.  

“........Still no excuse. But it’s clear now, you can’t be trusted with directions. I will have to show you the grounds personally so you’ll less likely to get lost every damn day.” Eddie rebuked as he fixed his thin jacket covering his “muscle tits”.

“Sure, whatever.” Waylon said as he looked through his bag again for any other snacks.

“At least pretend to be grateful you life draining tick.” Eddie said with a aggravated tone. Waylon snapped back.

“Don’t pretend this isn’t entirely self serving and a way to stroke your monster ego by showing off your house.”

Eddie resisted the urge to snarl back at the Waylon’s saucy remark. Even if he had a point, it was still rude.

     Eddie for once bite back his tongue and started to describe the history of his Ancestral home. Interrupted occasionally by Waylon’s wayward if practical questions like “what’s the point of having a fortress in the side of a mountain? Yeah, foreign troops can’t get to it easily, but neither can the troops of the local leaders to come and protect it. Just cut off food supply route and this place would be dead in a month.” or something simpler like   
“Why take the time to glue paper onto a wall for a design when you can just paint it white or black and use magic to add any colors or patterns you want? Or just hang art patterns in those frame things on the wall instead?”. Questions for which Eddie just explained in generic answers of “It made sense at the time.” , “Because we can use magic to circumvent that problem.” and lastly “because of artistic aesthetics of the previous generations or limitations of magics.”

Eddie focused on their main wing of the manor. But made sure to give a brief description of the farther flung rooms and his more favorable predecessors.

The only time Eddie shut up for any period of time was when he showed Waylon the other smaller libraries scattered throughout the wings. But like the rest of the house, all the books in there have the organization charm. So any book Waylon tried to smuggle out, disappeared and reappeared back in it’s shelf. Much to Waylon’s chagrin in his efforts to hoard more books.

    Seeing this , Eddie realized he found a good motivator for getting Waylon to figure out the house layout. If Waylon wants to find whatever book he tried to pilfer, he had to go find it.   Eddie sat down at a scribes table and started to write. It was detailed outline of names of the libraries and themed suites throughout the building. A more or less cheat sheet for Waylon to figure out where he is by the theme or color schemes for the suites each was in.   
Including a far less detailed map of the estate manor. Which consisted of four to six stories based on which side of the building , hundreds of rooms , personal apartments, and the practical rooms used by the former staff over the years.  Even with magic and a rough general outline, the project would take awhile to complete. And much longer for Waylon to figure out how to use it. But the assistance would at least make it less painful and more like a scavenger hunt. It’d at least buy Eddie some more time to himself for the next couple weeks.

Waylon leaned over and examined the top floor schematics that Eddie had finished and the list of specific areas. He then complained.

“You do realize most people probably can’t tell the difference between pale apricot and that peach color right? How the hell is this list going to help me?”

“If you can’t tell the exact color, you can tell the difference between something sunny and dark right? Just use the window light and time to figure out what part of the house you’re in.”

“Is your brain broken? How the fuck is light going to help me figure out where I am? Newsflash, LIGHT IS EVERYWHERE OUTSIDE. THAT'S WHAT THE SUN DOES! IT LIGHTS UP THE WORLD.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and groaned in frustration as he realized he’d need to teach Waylon how to study the angle of the sun and basic directions in relations to it.”

“Just shut up and let me finish this and I’ll teach you how to do that in a moment.” Eddie all but carved the rest of the building outline onto the parchment. He sped up the process using a magic quill to work on the outline for the other floors  on separate sheets as he detailed each draft. Waylon fell asleep nearby in the conclave bench while waiting for Eddie to finish.

    It was lunchtime by the time Eddie finished the maps. To be on the cautious side, he photocopied every sheet to have duplicates on file. The old photocopier was a bulky contraption he only used on rare occasions. He only learned about the invention through his mother’s soap dramas. He originally just used it to copy high contrasts copies of old manuscripts in the family vault. It was a godsend for clarifying blocks of ancient texts where the ink had evaporated from over the millenia.

     After combing the pages into a packet, he carried Waylon back to the kitchens. The smaller man slept like the dead when he wanted to. Eddie left him in the dining room , before preparing for the latter half of the day. Hopefully by the end of the day, he can teach Waylon the basics of the cardinal directions and show him a fraction of the exterior land of the estate.   
       He gathered some of his older shirts and jackets  and long pants from a storage closet and shrunk them down to roughly fit Waylon. It had snowed the night before, and while it was warm out for winter, better safe than frost bitten. He left the clothing by Waylon after nudging the youth to wake up. It’d take a while for Waylon to wake up and to become functional. Asking Waylon to do anything upon opening his eyes usually resulted in either a attempt at being given a black eye or the finger.  So Eddie just jostled him and scurried to the kitchen to make lunch.   
    Hopefully Waylon had the capacity of awareness to realize he should change if Eddie went out of his way to find more clothes. While he was in the kitchen, Eddie prepared and packed a dozen grilled cheeses and boiled some canned tomato soup for their lunch. He packed them in bags and a two thermos , and then into a carrier bag. Muttering quietly to himself “Can’t have the bastard whining about being hungry when I’m going through the trouble of teaching him the most basic of things!”

Waylon walked into the kitchen with droopy eyes. “So what are we doing?”

“I’m giving you the rest of the tour, and teaching you about the cardinal directions while there’s still light out. Now shut up and go get a jacket from a closet and follow me to the courtyard.”

Waylon shrugged and followed  Eddie towards a exit to begin the long lesson of navigations.

**_*Few hours later*_ **

“Okay, that’s enough for now.”

“Thank fuck. If I hear you bitch at me at telling the difference between East and West one more time, I was gonna sock you.”

“I wouldn’t bitch if you paid attention the first time!”

“No more bitching, it’s too cold and I’m tired, we’re done.” Waylon relented as he started to wander around the courtyard and garden.

“What the fuck is hanging from a stick?”

What are you smoking? Eddie asked as he walked over to see what Waylon was describing behind a large set of trees.

“It’s a empty bird feeder.”

“.....I understand what those two words are separately, but not together.”

“For heavens sake.” Eddie flicked his wrist and refilled the empty “house” to the brim with bird seeds (mostly sunflower seeds). He waved his hands again and summoned a couple hand bags of bird seeds. Handing one to Waylon. The birds around the manor quickly flocked around the bird feeder when they saw Master Gluskin approach it. It was a special treat to have him visit the feeders in person again.

“These are edible bird seeds to feed the wild birds. You throw it on the ground and they gather and eat it.”

“Why do people feed birds like this?” Waylon asked befuddled , but following directions.

“Many people enjoy bird watching. Their pretty and graceful. Some elderly people just like feeding them. It gives them a reason to get out of the house.”

“You would know, you recluse.”

“I am not that old you, jackass bird. Just take the bird feed and spread on the ground and wait.”

“Fine.” Waylon stuck his tongue at Eddie when. Eddie saw it but didn’t react to the childish baiting and just tossed the food around him. Waylon all huffy and cold, stomped a little further away to spread the birdseed. He wanted to piss Eddie off by drawing all the birds away from him.

“I'm a bird, or I was a bird so they'd get me and Eddie's Eddie. No contest really.” Waylon smugly thought to himself.

As time slowly passed quietly , it became clear who exactly the wild life around Gluskin manor favored.

“Traitors, y’all are traitors!” Waylon squawked as the group of colorful birds continued to eat at the peas and bird seeds Eddie was distributing.

Eddie spoke calmly and softly as the bird circled around his feet. “They know who I am, that's why they aren't afraid of me.”

Waylon stomped as he argued. “I'm a bird! Why are they avoiding me?!?”

”Well you are human right now. And your boisterous and direct in getting their attention. Like a incompetent predator playing with it’s food. To them you might as well have danger written on your forehead.” Eddie chided as he spread more bird seed further around him, beckoning more birds towards him.

“So are you!” Waylon shouted, and most of the birds hopped further away to the other side of Eddie for safety.

“I'm using my indoor voice , not yelling like you. And I've been feeding them for years and you’re a loud shrill stranger just throwing seeds around.”

Waylon huffed as he sat in the frozen bench behind Eddie. Some of the birds scattered when Waylon got closer. But most readied for flight  but tenaciously continued eating. Even the scattered birds soon returned to the food at Lord Gluskins feet. Waylon griped as he got a closer look at the birds.

“These guys are pretty ,even if they were bird traitors.”

“They should be. My mother used magic to bring her favorite birds from the American colonies to live on the estate. So you probably never seen anything like them.”

Waylon hmmmed in agreement as he tried to study the vivid colors most of the birds had. Eddie continued to ramble as he spread more bird feed into the fresh snow.

“She loved the birds. She even used magic to make them live longer. With precautions of course. She'd take me out to help feed them whenever she was healthy enough. She whistle with them like the Snow White character by Disney...” Eddie smiled as he recalled seeing his Mother Dolores sing with a bleeding heart dove sitting in the kitchen window as she baked cookies with him. It was one of the fondest memories he kept locked safe away in his heart.

“I get it. Bird feeding is a thing in your family.”

“Not exactly. It is just me and my mother. As far as my family beyond her, they thought the only good a bird was roasted and served with mushroom sauce.”

“Well fuck-all to them then.” Waylon sneezed after he cursed.

“Bless you. And I agree with the sentiment despite the unladylike language.” Eddie's forehead furrowed as he pushed away the memories of said relatives. But his mood lightened and his expression warmed as a couple of small blue birds hopped into his hand to eat the seeds. Waylon thought he felt ill as his heart fluttered for a moment. Eddie for once , looked…..nice.

The soft moment was broken when a loud quacking scream echoed behind them.

Waylon shot up thinking it was something attacking. But Eddie didn't even flinch. He just smiled and tossed the remaining bird seed in his hand onto the ground.

Before Waylon could ask what the hell was that, a louder more nasally quack echoed closer. A small brown blur flew past Waylon and landed in a feathery flurry on Eddie's shoulder.

Eddie remained perfectly still until the bird settled on his shoulder. He calmly reached up to wipe some snow off the birds wings. He said softly.

“Reginald, what are you doing out of your house? You bold duck, you'll catch your death out here.” Eddie said with a smirk despite his lecturing tone. He opened his jacket to pull out a small cloth bag from his pocket. Then opening it to reveal  cooked green peas for Reginald to pick out from. Which the duck, gleefully accepted as it plopped into the crook of Eddie’s free arm.

“You didn't tell me you already had a bird husband. I didn’t know I was marrying a polygamist!” Waylon snickered as he watched Eddie fawn over the duck.

“Ha ha, very funny.” Eddie dryly stated. He continued. “No. Reginald has been my familiar since I was a child.”

“I thought familiars were goblins or something that reflected the magic makers soul.”

“That's just superstitious malarkey. In the same vein of normal people who theorized birthmark were nipples witches used to nurse their demonic familiars.” Eddie said with a tone of disdain.

“That is possibly the creepiest thing I've heard since I got here. And I have read some of your ancestors writings.”

“Yes, well some religious idiots swore on that. Familiars are more like a extra body to store excess magic energy and as a way to limit magic output. If something goes awry when spell casting, say you channel out forty percent of your current magic potential for a spell that only requires ten percent. Doing so without a familiar to hold back the excess energy , the spell outcome would be four times as powerful and exponentially harder to control. You'd either get a far more extreme outcome , like repairing the wood on a chair and it growing back into a full tree in your house or the spell would backfire and send you reeling from the backdraft. So familiars are a vital tool for most young casters. Although you’re not supposed to use one until your eleventh year.”

Waylon tried to outreach and pet Reginalds wings himself. Only for the meek looking bird to snap at him for the trouble.

“Reginald is very defensive when it comes to strangers.” Eddie explained as he scritched under Reginald’s neck with the back of his fingers.

“Jeez I wonder where he got that from. But seriously tho.” Waylon tried to convey his question by gesturing towards Reginald.

“Seriously what? Finish your sentence.”

“I saw your family record books. I don’t need to read those cinder blocks to know your family is old world magic. Like Old old, like older than the dirt their buried in probably. Reginald might be a sweet duck, but as far I can tell, he's just a normal duck. You could have anything from a black cat to a pixie to maybe even a dragon or something. And yet, you got this guy.”

“Yes. Well, there's a story for that.” Eddie explained as he handed the basket of food to Waylon, who immediately started to pilfer through it.

“...... And? Are you going to share or is that story lost to the ancients also known as your grandpa or something?” Waylon snickered as Eddie's face changed colors in outrage.

“I'M NOT THAT OLD.” Eddie puffed up, clearly insulted by the implication. He’s a wizard, not a vampire.

“ I was being funny. Now how'd you get a duck familiar?”

“Well, as you probably don’t know, most children like adventure and doing stupid things like climb trees when they are not fit for it.”

“With you so far.” Waylon said as he handed Eddie one of the thermos to drink from.

“Well, at a young age of seven? Or eight? Whichever, I was young but not a infant.”

“Your rambling now,but go on.”

Eddie huffed at the comment. Only continued after taking a seat next to Waylon and settling Reginald on his lap.

“ **In any case** , I was determined to climb the large tree by the pond over there.” Eddie gestured to the crooked winding hunchback of a tree in the distance. Waylon thought it looked like a grey witch covered only by her rags and hair.

“I thought of it as some grande dangerous thing. Such as a perilous mountain or a wicked beast that torments a captive princess,  some innocent childish nonsense that made sense to only myself.” Eddie took a sip from his thermos after catching his breath.

Waylon listened carefully as he held the thermos to keep his hands warm.  He couldn’t imagine Eddie as a child. Or having anything innocent or doing something nonsensical and impulsive just for fun. (Eddie having lack of common sense and patience to check the sex of his potential bride doesn’t count as something whimsical)

“So I sought to climb the thing on sunny Spring day. Since my mother was on doctors rest, and the butler was preparing lunch, no one could stop me. So I climbed and climbed and fell out like a sack of potatoes. I got the wind knocked out of me, and cracked my wrist and a few ribs. But that’s not why I started sobbing when I picked myself up. I landed on a growing duckling, Reginald. I broke his wing and most of his ribs with my elbow when I landed.”

“Oh no!” Waylon attempted to sound genuine, but his tone came out sarcastic anyway. He did sympathized with Reginald in that a crazy mad man showed up in his life and just suddenly broke some of his bones.

“Yes , well I was besides myself thinking I killed him.  Blubbering and screaming I was sorry for killing him. My sobbing alerted my butler Manera who told me that Reginald was still breathing.”

“I hope he was. If not, you’ve been hiding the Necronomicon books from me.”

“Yes well, my mother had taken ill and was in a recovery trace while this was happening so I couldn’t wake her up. So I ran with Reginald in my hands to my father. Whom I idealized and thought to be a reclusive genius of sorcery and magic.”

“Not touching that with a ten foot pole.” Waylon snarked. Clearly implying that was how he imagined Eddie saw himself.

“ANYWAY, I ran into my father’s study crying and pleading for him to fix Reginald. ”

“I’m guessing my your tone, this did not go well.”

“It did not. He told me to stop bawling like a hysterical woman. Then proceeded to lecture me how the magic it would need to fix the bird would far exceed the value of the thing. That I should have just tossed the injured bird into the trash and wash my hands of it. Then he threw me out of his study and yelled for Mr.Manera to retrieve me and the dead thing. ”

“Well, he sounds like a bundle of fun.”

“He was that and more. But I wouldn’t have it, in regards to letting the duckling die. So I stole his books from his other library regarding familiars while Manera gave the bird splints.”

“What the fuck is a splint?”

“It’s straight wood board you attach alongside a broken limb to keep it straight so it heals properly. If a bone heals at a uneven angle you might need to break it again. Which hurts quite badly.”

“Who the fuck would break their limb again, INTENTIONALLY?”

“Most people? If it healed badly it’d cause more pain and even nerve problems. So a splint is the most immediate way to prevent that.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Yes, well, if you were a bird, you’d either heal awkwardly or a bone shard would break off and kill you for bending the damaged limb. But back to the story.”

“Yeah yeah, dad kicked you out, Manarea put twig on duckie. Now what?”

“I panicked and grabbed a book my father had in his library. I used the book to bind the bird with me as my familiar. The my innate magic would start to repair the damage I did when I fell on top of him. I wasn't skilled enough in conscious magical healing to do anything else.”

“Stupid but clever.”

“More or less how Manera described it as well. My Mother was proud of me for my resourcefulness. My father, however, was less so. He stormed and howled over the fact his son was doomed to have a duck as his sole familiar.”

“Well if he wasn't a dickhead in the first place, you wouldn't have had to resort to that. So it's his own damn fault.” Waylon commented as he skipped a rock across the chilly pond.

“Yeah well, most people telling him that and would end up a outline of ash on a wall. But my mother wouldn't tolerate his tantrums and threw him out the house until he calmed down.”

“Good for her….wait. But I read your family book. I thought this house had that weird magic thingy. Only a Gluskin or a bride of one can like control stuff. Your mom was his wife, but how'd she throw your Dad out? I can't imagine your mom with my kind of muscles and winning by brawn.”

“My mom was a magical heiress in her own right. And when it came to studying and refining the finer aspects of runes and patterns such as the ones in magic clothing or the family estate's foundations, she had no equal. If my mother didn't want you in her home, you will not be. No amount of brawn or rage or battle magic could counter it. It drove my Father insane with fury whenever she did it.”

“Well boohoo for that fucko. Don't be a dick and you won't be put in the doghouse.”

“My mother’s thoughts exactly. But it usually led to repercussions none the less. But that's another story . But eventually my father was allowed back. After I named Reginald, he'd spent a great deal of time trying to figure out a way to either kill Reginald or undo my binding spell.  
     Although if he spent half the time he spent bemoaning my familiar instead of teaching me or researching the subject , he might have actually accomplished that. Thank heavens he didn't.  He'd stick me with whatever monstrosity that caught his fancy. I would have been stuck with some demented creature my father thought dangerous and powerful and thus suitable for a witch or wizard of the Gluskin line.”

Waylon's cheeks puffed up as he tried to hold back a laugh. He failed in that regard. He started laughing so hard he had to walk around to let out the energy.

Eddie grew concerned and left his thermos on the ground and Reginald wrapped in his scarf on the bench. Before rushing to stand and examine Waylon for possible signs of possession or lunacy. Waylon just started into a another fit of giggles when he looked back at Eddie. Finding no obvious signs of distress, Eddie demanded to know what set this off.

“What's so funny?!?”

”I just!” Waylon had to catch his breath from laughing so hard. “I just remembered you have a beauty mark on your butt cheek. I just imagined Reggie nursing from a ass nipple.”

“oh for fucks sake.” Eddie on impulse picked up some snow and clumped together a snowball. When Waylon turned around into another fit of laughter, Eddie threw it at him.

The snowball hit Waylon in the upper back. He whimpered as he felt the melting snow reach under the borrowed collar.

“Da fuck was that?!?!” Waylon shrilly screamed as he tried to force out the snow.

“A snowball. You were acting like a child so it felt appropriate.”

Waylon attempted to throw some snow back at Eddie. But he didn't compress the snow. So the snow chunk scattered along the path before it even reached Eddie. Eddie just started laughing as Waylon kept trying it again and again to pelt him back with snow.  Now it was Eddie's turn to laugh like a jackass.

   The scene erupted into a childish snow battle as Waylon figured out how to compact snow. And as Eddie learned Waylon had horrible aim. They danced around each other and through the trees and snow banks trying to outdo each other. Eventually both started to lose momentum as the air got colder and the snow melted through their thin layers.  

  Both however we willingly to admit surrender, so they resorted to more subtle tactics with evasion rather then frontal confrontations. Eddie while hiding,tossed a decoy ball against a boulder on Waylon's opposite side. Just so he could pelt a flurry snowball against the back of Waylon's head when he looked away.

Waylon retaliated by throwing a rock hard snowballs high above Eddie's head under the tree.

“Ha you missed! You couldn't hit mountain with your horrendous aim!”

Eddie cackled as Waylon kept pelting snowballs and then rocks far above Eddie's head.

“I’m not aiming for you fucko.” Waylon pointed above Eddie's head after throwing a heavier rock. Eddie looked up to see a hoard of tree branches heavy with snow shaking above his head.

“Happy avalanche!” Waylon waved before throwing the last snowball at the trembling tree. That tree and the surrounding trees with intertwined limbs released the thick bank of snow down below. A knee high deep sheet of snow collapsed on top if the wizard. He sputtered and grasped towards freedom as he emerged from the trap like a frost giant born the hands of Ymir.

Eddie's entire body was soaked through and his limbs so cold, the powered snow on his jacket and pants wasn't even melting anymore. The fresh snow just clumped and settled like dust on a desert creatures furs.

Eddie barely caught his breath before Waylon rushed at him. Tackling him back into the snow banks.

“Do you surrender?”

Eddie flinched as Waylon's weight pressed the sodden clothing to his skin. The first instance felt like a burning brand against his whole body. But the cold burn had started to ebb into his bones, making him feel far older and tired then he had any right to feel like.

“I surrender. I surrender. No more snow.”

Waylon giggled as he let go of Eddie's shoulders and just stretched out next to him.

“what was that anyway? It was so much fun!” Waylon's frost pink face lit up as he smiled. His face was as warm as a sunrise. And Eddie felt his face get stinging hot and his chest flutter when Waylon smiled at him looking for a answer.

“T-That was a snowball fight….we should really get inside. You look like a tomato because you're so cold.”

“Hey, you started it. “Waylon complained as he jolted back onto his feet. He turned back around to help Eddie out of the snowy crater. Then he started laughing again as he helped Eddie stand up.

“You look like  that yeti thing I read last week!”

Eddie didn't even have the energy to snark back.  The snow had clumped over all of his cold autumn jacket and his furred collar.

“Just help me inside so I can run a warm bath…Please… I can't feel my feet anymore.”

“The northern side or south?”

“So you did pay attention.”

“Yeah. But the sun set like a hour ago. So tell where we're heading.”

Eddie groaned as he tried to wipe more snow off his body while leaning on Waylon. Only cracking a smile after they finally trudged inside. After Waylon fumbled to get his arms and legs free from the long limbed clothes he borrowed from Eddie. He literally spun around in a circle trying to get his second free from the soaked sleeves. And just gave up and used a scissor nearby to get the pants off. The pants covered well past his ankles and acted like spats covering the boots. But the capillary effect resulted in the water soaked on the bottom to reach Waylon's knees.

          Eddie just chuckled as he removed his soaked clothing and hung them to dry in the mud room.  He turned when he heard something clang against something metal, opposite of Waylon and behind him. Only to find Reginald followed them inside and was perched next to a heating vent.

“Waylon we need to get into warm clothes and then a lukewarm bath so we don't ” turning around revealed Waylon was already gone and left a trail behind him. In his rush to the nearest hot bath, the swan groom left a train of wet snow and fragments of the old ripped pants and underwear.

    Eddie face palmed as he used a towel in a storage closet to cover himself before following the pathway of sudden destruction. At least Waylon had a vague map on him still , so the damage from the scramble to the bathroom will hopefully be localized. Eddie focused on fixing his house and slowly warming up rather then contemplate what he felt before.

“This morons going to go into shock and I'm just going to laugh and laugh.”


End file.
